- English Essay
- Theatre Critique (like an essay)
- Math
- Presentation/Performance
- Speech
That is all due in two days. I worked at my job all day Saturday and Sunday... No. Bueno.
So instead of boring you with my complaints, I figured I would write a blog post about whatever is on my mind... ya know, because I don't have two essays to write or a speech to prepare...
Have any of you ever felt sooo insecure, and then either a person you meet, a celeb, or something really small just kinda gives you a boost in confidence? It is the weirdest thing, and very hard to describe. It is total proof of the saying, "It Gets Better". Here is an example: Where I work I was not expecting to make friends. I work at a senior living center. I just figured that I would work with mainly middle aged people and would enjoy it but not meet friends. Well I started working with this girl who has been there five years so I figured she would not really like me and I felt insecure. She is so friendly, and so nice; we get along great and actually have kind of a lot in common. She is so outgoing and confident that it has made me think about how I act, and why I can't be more outgoing and spontaneous. She has made me more outgoing, more willing to try new things, more daring, and I truly think a more well rounded person. Which leads into my next point...
I love my parents, but they have kind of sheltered me. Not that I am weirdo status but simple things like ear piercings are a huge deal to be discussed in my family. So, when I met the girl I work with, she has two tattoos and like, eight ear piercings... sounds crazy but none are over the top and the tattoos are on her ribs and foot; easily hidden and both tasteful and full of meaning. Anyway... I had been wanting my ears double pierced and my cartilage pierced and my mom didn't see why I wanted them. Technically because I am 18 (gonna be 19 on Apr. 23!!) I could have gone out and got them but I just have never been one to do anything without my parents. Well my mom ended up taking me to get my doubles but I still really wanted the other. So after talking to my friend, and one of her friends, we decided to go to dinner after work then to go get my ear pierced. It is funny, I was nervous but not because I was scared of the pain but because I kind of assumed something would go wrong because a parent wasn't there. Well it turns out I am pierced and fine haha but my mom was still kinda mad and wanted me to promise her I wouldn't get any more piercings or a tattoo as long as I lived here. Whatever. ANYWAY.
Point is; that piercing has given me a weird feeling of confidence. Many people have this piercing and many people have this piercing plus five, but something that small, has given me a feeling of independence that I feel is very important. I am not saying that if you are insecure you need to go out and get pierced, but it is just weird how everything is kinda happening at the same time. Each person has a different life (duh) and for me, I have been feeling kind of... suffocated. My parents have given me a fantastic life but I feel like I need to grow up and haven't been able to yet. So this very small item has kind of helped in a way...
So my friend helped, my piercing helped, and now my other odd source of inspiration...
Miley. Cyrus.
Yep, I said it. Miley Cyrus.
I have always been a fan. People say she has become a tramp, I say she is growing up and showing her artistic ability. (Yes, I think her new music videos are artistic. Different than her old self but face it, she is gonna be 19 too). Now, I am totally against any type of drug, legal or illegal. I have seen the effects on people close to me and want no part of it. I believe what she did was wrong; however, so many people in America do drugs but yet she is being just ripped to pieces. I think she is beautiful and talented. So anyway, I was just thinking about even through all the the scrutiny and all of the comments and jokes made about her and to her, she is still a very confident young woman. She is my age, and when I see her, I see how I would be if I was in her shoes. (Not with the drugs though... not a joke.) I was reading her tweets and looking at her twitpics and just thinking. She would take pics of her wearing pigtails or what she was eating for breakfast, and I thought of how so many people out there are talking about her in so many hurtful ways and then thinking about myself and how I would feel if people said half of what they say about her to me. If she can hear what people have to say, and still tweet pics of herself then I can certainly become more confident with myself. She has tattoos and piercings and that doesn't change her. Maybe it is because we are the same age but, I feel like looking up to her, and seeing what she tweets about or looking at pictures of her doing the same things I do, gives me more confidence.
So, the point of this was not to ramble, but I am not a great writer so sorry if I did... I just wanted to put out there that just recently, at age 18, almost 19, I am just now feeling confident and happy in my own skin. Yes, I wanna lose some weight and my skin could be better. My skin has just recently within the past few months become clear, with the exception of a few blemishes. I have just recently tasted freedom and independence and am trying to figure out how to get there. My point is that it takes time, and life gets better. I did not have a bad childhood so I don't know what that is like, but I know that everyone experiences different hardships and each person handles things differently. I was once told a confusing but true statement... What one persons worst is, is equal to another persons worst, regardless of the problem. Meaning, the feeling that two people share, whether one person is homeless and the other broke a nail, what may seem like no big deal to others, those two people are feeling their personal worst. BUT! It gets better. It may seem like life it tough now and that it will never end, that is what I thought. I would sit in front of a mirror and cry about a year or so ago... but it has gotten better. I have ready many celebs "It Gets Better" stories and statements and really felt compelled to say something.
I hope this made sense to all of you and I hope you all enjoyed reading. Know that life gets better no matter your circumstances. Dream and Believe.
xoxo Haley
